Today I am…..torn

Over the past week (since N decided to not want to save our marriage) I’ve depended upon my amazing friends for support. However it turns out that I have friends who are completely different to one another.

Here is the issue……

Do I tell A about me and N having sex?

Some of my friends think I should hurt N as much as he has hurt me (behaving the way he has, having his cake and eating it etc) over the past three months. Others think I should gain satisfaction from not saying anything and raising above it, knowing that I know the truth.

Ive briefly spoken to N about this, much to his horror and the truth is I’ve gained slight satisfaction from dangling this concept over him. He cannot pretend that his new and improved relationship is not based upon a lie. Or him omitting the truth about his mixed up feelings. Nor does he think he needs to have this conversation with his new girlfriend. He is running away from the consequences and just avoiding it.

Funnily enough there isn’t a Google search or any etiquette around if or how to have this conversation. Its purely down to personal choice.

If it was me in a new relationship I would want to know the truth but I also don’t want anyone to feel hurt like I have during the past few months.

N has said some very hurtful things to me over the past few weeks and only thought about his own feelings. We are different, in fact the complete opposite – I knew that from the first day of meeting one another.

I don’t only think about my feelings, I care about other people and their feelings, even A who I don’t even know. And that is what I need to concentrate on. Being a nice and caring person.

I’ve concluded that this isn’t my conversation to have, its not my burden. I’m slowly moving towards bigger and better things. And crossing my fingers that she isn’t a blog reader :-/

Who knows I might change my mind further down the line, but I’m taking the high road for now.

Am I doing the right thing? Answers on a postcard…….. or comment below 🙂

S

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